Writing about "Ehab Fawzi",  Ummmm…. It will definitely need a complete website with endless pull down menus. Ehab, I promise you, if I ever have the time to be a writer, that you will be featured as a main character in one of my novels.  When I received your message: - " Criticize me (Some praise is O.K. off course)", I was very confused. It seemed to me as an unconscious attempt to identify yourself through the unrealistic image your friends had adopted for you. Well I am sorry to tell you that,  but it is not going to work. It would be impossible for all your friends to grasp glimpses from your true being when you yourself had failed.  Ehab, I cannot tell you who you are as this is the demarche to conscieness that every being on earth should lead, driven by god's enlightment. Unfortunately very few persons in history had reached the end of this route in their lives. Moreover I think most people never started this journey until they become very close to death when there is nothing much left to be done.  Ehab, I cannot criticize you or praise you since I do not know" You" and since you, yourself, had not discovered yet the true being inside you. Amazing, after all these years, isn't it? Who are you? Who are you? Who are you?  However, Ehab, since I should write something I will describe traces of your character. Again I am repeating that this should be only considered as aspects of your personality that will keep on changing throughout the years. Your true being inside that will never change through time remains unknown for me since you didn't discover it yet. -        A sensitive person who cannot imagine his life without being hurt by        insensitive people in this cruel unfair world. -        An intelligent mind, who studies, learns and acquires all sorts of knowledge        more than anyone I had ever met. -        A wise guy who always see the world through his ironic smile. -        A person who thinks he is the only giving person in this ungrateful world. -        Sometimes an unhappy emotional person that his mind identify with. -        Sometimes a negative mind.  All the previous are only your personality aspects but definitely do not consist your true being inside. Not only that, but even the world you are living in is your own mind creation. Simply it is not real. Also all problems you ever suffered from in your life are mind illusions that never truly existed. Moreover your past consists of mind memories that are simply false interpretation to the reality. Your future also is mind expectations that will never happen as your mind is portraying.  I know your ego will refuse to believe what I am saying here. I can hear you saying:      " This arrogant stupid Mahmoud. What does he know? Who does he think he is? He is just another narrow minded, judgmental person who doesn't know what he is talking about." Maybe you are right. Please, also, bear in mind that talking to you this way doesn't mean that I am out of the global mind trap myself. I am struggling too to find my way out.  But since you will loose nothing by listening to me, you might try a new life approach and see if it can work for you. You have to admit first that your life consists of a sinus curve of ups and downs between pleasurable moments and depressions. Admit that you failed in maintaining the beautiful moments a constant mode of life. You know why? Because these moments are not originated from happiness within. They are only mind solutions to escape from depressions. Your mind cannot live constantly in misery so it invites you to try external simulators that will make you forget for a while your happiness. It is a pity but your mind will never succeed in ending the suffering as it is the source of it. I am sorry to say this but all the hobbies in the world, travels, sex, purchasing gadgets, learning, work, even forming a family will not help to escape from depressions and solitude. You are complete within, without any external relationship or external surroundings or tranquilizers.  I am inviting you to see the whole life differently according to the definition of enlightment as:                                                             " The end of suffering." Of course the definition is incomplete as it tells you what enlightment is not but it doesn't tell you what it is. Simply because it is only "You" can answer this question.  To help you answering you have to start by destroying your perception of time. The only real time in life is the present moment. The most precious gift god had granted us. Past and future are mind illusions. So why waste this gift or portion of it in suffering? Nonsense; isn't it?  Focus on the present moment and stop thinking all the time. I bet you cannot feel any sadness or problem if you isolated yourself from your thinking identity. Problems come to disturb you, when your mind starts analyzing bad sad memories of the past or pessimistic future. You know why your mind will always push you either in the past or the future and never to the present sacred beautiful moments? Simply because it cannot function in the present. It becomes weak and loses control. It fears inhalation. Your mind, the wonderful tool that you have, is becoming the master and your true being becomes the slave. Look how many languages you learned, studies you had made. All these are proof that your strong mind demands working and controlling all the time. Dominating you forever. Try this test. Ask yourself the question:-" What is the first thought that will come to me now, this instant? Do it know and stop reading. Well? I bet it had been a while before anything came to your mind. Actually the first thought would be when your mind started to remind you of the past or the future facts. You know why? The mind cannot work in the present. This is a scientific fact. The present, you feel it and you cannot think it.  Ehab; end any problems and unhappiness in your life. It is a very simple decision that you can take. Just have the will. What do you fear? Will you be lost if you live in peace, tranquility and joy? Is this frightening? To discover that the part of your life when you felt depression was a waste of time and didn't have any meaning or reason. Chocking but it is true. Great part of the past 34 years was only mind illusions and unrealistic problems to worry about. Who doesn't want to end all the problems in his life? No one. But amazing enough no one dares to take the decision. Yes, a pure decision, no more than that.  Don't get me wrong here; I am not inviting you to stop thinking. All I am asking for is to think only when it is needed. Only when you can achieve positive things by thinking. You will still plan the future but you will not worry about success and failure. The present is all what it matters.  By observing people who carry frustration and anger inside, without being aware, are more likely to be attacked, verbally, by other angry people and often for no apparent reason. They have a strong emanation of anger that certain people pick up and that triggers their own anger. Remember, Ehab, the gas station employee who threw in your face the coins that you tipped him with. Apparently there were no reason, but deeply it is related to the observation mentioned above. At that time you were talking about frustration from simply living in Egypt.  Ehab, Change yourself before it is too late. Focus on the being inside to find conscieness. Awaken yourself.  Ehab, I do not know whether you are going to talk to me again or not? Whether you will feel angry and hate me for writing this or not? All I know is that the few people in history that started searching for enlightment had done it after experiencing great sufferings. This is the main reason I am writing to you as a friend. As I am confident you can trigger, if you wish, a tremendous amount of positive good energy captured inside. Only You can do that.  Again I am repeating that I am not preaching since I, myself, didn't find my true "me". I still face sadness and frustration as anybody maybe even more. However I am searching and digging inside as I will not surrender easily.  Finally, Ehab, I dedicate to you a short story I wrote three years ago. One of the few moments I witnessed the sate of being present. Since then I am reading and digging about this subject and hoping to find what I am looking for one day. "The secret of life is to" die before you die"- and find out that there is no death."